As a parent, I feel an extraordinary sense of responsibility to be the best parent possible for my two daughters. By that, I don’t mean being a perfect parent, as no such creature exists, except perhaps in movies or in books. I don’t have script writers and multiple takes or authors and rewrites to get it right, and I just try to succeed more than I stumble. I hope that my daughters learn as much from my mistakes as they do from my triumphs, and I find that some of the greatest lessons that I have to offer them are the ones when I lead by example. I always have told my daughters that whenever they have the chance to be kind and to help someone, they always should, and I do my best to take my own advice. Today, my oldest daughter let me know that my words had not fallen on deaf ears or a closed heart.
Part of her preparation for confirmation in the church and a requirement of being in the National Junior Honor Society is to perform service hours in the community, and she readily embraced the chance to volunteer at the day shelter for homeless men where I work. So, this afternoon, I accompanied her there and assisted her in working at the front desk for several hours. Her tasks were simple-greet the men as they entered the shelter and confirm their name on our roster and where they stayed the night before. She soon learned that there were tasks far more valuable than the ones listed in the description for this volunteer position, though.
I witnessed my daughter’s confidence overtake her shyness with each gentleman she welcomed and checked in, and it was with immense pride and joy that I watched her take a liking to the men and the men to her. A number of the gentlemen complimented her good manners, sweet disposition, and warm smile, and they thanked her for volunteering. She quickly discovered that taking the time to look them in the eye, smile at them, engage them in conversation, and listen to them were the true tasks at hand. She genuinely enjoyed spending time with them, and they immediately sensed this. They engaged in conversations about school and her extracurricular activities, and several gentlemen offered her advice about earning good grades, working hard, and staying out of trouble. What may seem like insignificant actions can mean the world to those who are invisible to a large segment of society, and to see a young girl accept those who have been deemed unacceptable by so many was truly beautiful.
Often times, adults make being kind far more complicated than it has to be by thinking that kindness and compassion are best shown through large donations of money or sweeping, grand gestures, when sometimes, the smallest acts of kindness are the greatest gifts one can give, or adults believe that they are too busy to perform kind acts, when being kind can be done in an instant. While I have tried to teach my daughters well, today, it was my oldest daughter who reminded me that one of the greatest resources that we can offer to another human being is the gift of ourselves. Most people desire to be seen, heard, accepted, and loved, and for a few hours on a Sunday afternoon, my daughter gave the finest gentlemen in all of Louisville her very best. I have a feeling that this is not the last that they have seen of one another, either, even when she has completed her service hours. It is in giving that we receive indeed, and what they gave to each other was absolutely priceless.
First, I love the Kindness Blog.
About Teach Your Children Well, I only wish this was 100% true. Parents are not the only teachers in their children’s lives. My children learned much from me, that is true, and not just my best qualities. But they were raised in a non-smoking, alcohol and drug free home. AA friends and activities that were fun, all my friends were sober and my kids played with my friend’s kids. Fun, without alcohol or drugs, from an early age, always around adults and parents who did not smoke, drink or drug. My kids all smoked very early in life and yes, numerous problems with drinking and drugging. Don’t give up being the best parent you can be, but unless you live on an island with out electricity, you are not the only teacher in your children’s life. Jeanne Marie
Jeanne Marie, thank you so much for sharing your feedback! I agree with you that children have many teachers throughout their lives, and I regret if my post gave the impression that I thought otherwise or implied that I am their only teacher. My daughters definitely have many teachers who impact their lives, and given my own experiences personally and professionally as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Alcohol & Drug Counselor, I know that even with the best and most positive of teachers, children will make their own decisions and mistakes. It is my hope that we all act as the most positive of role models who can provide a solid foundation for children to return to when they stray or stumble.
Yes, and I agree, thank you for taking time to write back. It has always been a pet peeve of mine, starting with that old TV public message, “If you don’t drink or drug, your kids won’t drink or drug.” Your article was great, just hit me in a hot spot. Home and a caring family is the best foundation, for sure. I wish every child at least had that to stand on, but so many don’t. Your kids are blessed. Thank you for the note, Jeanne Marie
Jeanne Marie, you are more than welcome, and I greatly appreciate your comments and kind words. I remember the PSA that you referenced, and I can understand why my post hit you the way that it did. I, too, wish that every child had a solid foundation and a strong family and community to give them the support and guidance to succeed and to return to, when needed. Here’s to doing the best that we can as parents to our own children and to all children! All my best to you and yours, and thanks for reading the Kindness Blog!
Great post. People should check out the song “You have to be carefully taught” from the movie and musical “South Pacific.” You can teach to hate and be bigoted or you can teach to be kind and treat others like you want to be treated.
Thank you so much! I know that song actually, and it definitely has a wonderful message for children and adults, as well. May we all set a great example for children and each other when it comes to being kind, compassionate, and loving to all!
Kindness Blog 
Yes yes yes I so liked this post
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Oh, thank you so very much, as that means a lot to me!
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First, I love the Kindness Blog.
About Teach Your Children Well, I only wish this was 100% true. Parents are not the only teachers in their children’s lives. My children learned much from me, that is true, and not just my best qualities. But they were raised in a non-smoking, alcohol and drug free home. AA friends and activities that were fun, all my friends were sober and my kids played with my friend’s kids. Fun, without alcohol or drugs, from an early age, always around adults and parents who did not smoke, drink or drug. My kids all smoked very early in life and yes, numerous problems with drinking and drugging. Don’t give up being the best parent you can be, but unless you live on an island with out electricity, you are not the only teacher in your children’s life. Jeanne Marie
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Jeanne Marie, thank you so much for sharing your feedback! I agree with you that children have many teachers throughout their lives, and I regret if my post gave the impression that I thought otherwise or implied that I am their only teacher. My daughters definitely have many teachers who impact their lives, and given my own experiences personally and professionally as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Alcohol & Drug Counselor, I know that even with the best and most positive of teachers, children will make their own decisions and mistakes. It is my hope that we all act as the most positive of role models who can provide a solid foundation for children to return to when they stray or stumble.
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Yes, and I agree, thank you for taking time to write back. It has always been a pet peeve of mine, starting with that old TV public message, “If you don’t drink or drug, your kids won’t drink or drug.” Your article was great, just hit me in a hot spot. Home and a caring family is the best foundation, for sure. I wish every child at least had that to stand on, but so many don’t. Your kids are blessed. Thank you for the note, Jeanne Marie
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Jeanne Marie, you are more than welcome, and I greatly appreciate your comments and kind words. I remember the PSA that you referenced, and I can understand why my post hit you the way that it did. I, too, wish that every child had a solid foundation and a strong family and community to give them the support and guidance to succeed and to return to, when needed. Here’s to doing the best that we can as parents to our own children and to all children! All my best to you and yours, and thanks for reading the Kindness Blog!
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Thank you and the same wishes for you and yours. I love the Kindness Blog!
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Reblogged this on Mirroring the World and commented:
Because Children Tend to Model After Their Parents, so, DO Set a BETTER Example for them all!!!
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Great post. People should check out the song “You have to be carefully taught” from the movie and musical “South Pacific.” You can teach to hate and be bigoted or you can teach to be kind and treat others like you want to be treated.
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Thank you so much! I know that song actually, and it definitely has a wonderful message for children and adults, as well. May we all set a great example for children and each other when it comes to being kind, compassionate, and loving to all!
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Life is about responsibility, not rights!
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Thank you for taking the time to read this and for commenting! I hope that we all can look out for one another and continue to spread some kindness.
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I am thankful to God for my parents!
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I am, as well!
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A rare gift in today’s society – two parents!
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