Why Opening Doors for Strangers Matters…
by Monica Guerrero
After bawling my eyes out in the post office parking lot over a door opening incident, I thought it important to take a look at the deeper meaning of this small but powerful act.
The interaction wasn’t as elegant as one might imagine, actually, it was quite awkward at first. My fellow shipper and I arrived at the door simultaneously both reaching for the door, both loaded up with packages and equally in need of having a door opened for us. We scrambled to shift our parcels and grabbed at the door at the same time, we then re-shifted in order to prepare for receiving a door opening. After a few times of doing this we laughed at our fumbling and one of us acquiesced. The two of us waited in line together, a shared bond and smile of contentment on our faces over the interaction.
It wasn’t until I was sitting in the car outside that the emotions came flooding in. I began reflecting upon past door openings and the deeper meanings behind these interactions … the tears began to roll.
As an independent and liberated woman I had once thought of door opening as an opportunity to share my stance. To make the statement that I reject the outdated traditions where women are beholden to men to pump their gas, open their doors and even bring in the higher paycheck. That thought had me racing to the door on more than a few occasions.
It wasn’t until years later that I discovered maturity and realized that the door didn’t always revolve around me. I realized that the act of allowing someone else to open the door for me was just as important an act as my choice to open the door for another.
I began to allow myself to be let in by older gentlemen with callous covered hands, struggling with every ounce of their might to live up to the ideals that they had been taught as children. Rather than ranting in my mind about outdated notions and a weaker sex, I began to seek to understand other’s perspectives. It wasn’t until I dropped my ego filled stories that I was able to appreciate the true kindness behind this gesture.
I watch my sister do her best as a hard-working mother. I so deeply admire how she still takes the time to teach her boys how to treat others with reverence. When I hear my nephews say please and thank you it fills me with hope. It makes me grateful for all the parents out there that aren’t simply making demands upon our world but are actively raising conscious living people. Some day in the future one of my Nephews might be the older gentleman who opens the door for a woman like me honoring the memory of my sister with every step.
I love how the simple act of opening the door for another can break down stereotypes as a seemingly hard-core tattoo covered biker extends his hand to open the door for a frail elderly woman. I will never forget the joy of witnessing a little girl with down syndrome grinning from ear to ear as she held the door open for every person that walked through the entire time her mother was in the post office. As each person thanked her, her grin grew wider. I will do my best to remember this girl when I hold the door open for someone who saunters through without acknowledgement like the queen of Sheba… remember Monica, bring it back to self… back to clarity.
I think beyond the physical door openings to how many people have taken the time to open doors of employment, doors of friendship, doors to a different perspective for me. I think about how one good opening deserves another and how today I spend a great deal of my time opening doors for others. I have a very love filled life and that love grows each and every moment I choose to recognize the joy…the tears streaming down your face in the parking lot kind of joy… that comes after allowing myself to be opened.
“There are things known and things unknown and in between are the Doors.” ~Jim Morrison.
Monica Guerrero Aka Monica Today – is an Award Winning Mixed media artist, Cosmetologist, Muralist, singer and songwriter. She has worked in a large variety of mediums as a sculptor, fashion designer and in the film industry in Southern California doing casting, mold making and finishing. She has been awarded Best of show for her Doll art and has shared her knowledge with others through classes, lectures and through her talk radio show: Inspiring People Radio.com
Kindness Blog 
A beautifully poignant and profound exploration of a very simple, but sometimes highly charged, everyday act of ‘seeing’. Really enjoyed this – thank you. Blessings, H xxx
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A delightful reminder that ‘manners maketh man’ – Gestures of any kindness particularly opening doors for other people literally or metaphorically is a win-win situation that makes us all feel good – and for those that do not have the graciousness to acknowledge politely – well what goes round comes round and so does a revolving door…. thanks Monica.
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I tried hard to raise my son to open doors for others, be kind and polite. Now he’s 21 and off at college and I hope he has retained all that ‘raising’!
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Reblogged this on MrMilitantNegro™.
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We are all just people and need each other.
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Great read. I would love to follow Monica’s blog. The link doesn’t seem to be working. Hope you can get it fixed soon. Thx!
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Hi, thanks for letting us know 🙂 Please try the link again! 🙂
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When reading your post I was reminded of something a family member once told me when I was upset at a life change that took away some of my independence. He said sometimes when letting others do for us they are being blessed by being allowed to perform the smallest acts of kindness.
If we could for one moment foget the busyness of life and go back to the gold standard of treating others as you would like to be treated well, the world would be a much better place.
Great post!!
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Kindness matters! Yes mam, no sir, please, thank you, saying hello, smiling, helping one another instead of looking the other way are all things that should just come naturally. In todays selfish world it often gets over looked, but is a welcoming breath of fresh air when kindness happens…because it does matter. Really enjoyed this post! 🙂
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All kindness is important; it’s what makes us human. 🙂 ❤
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Yes to kindness !!!! ONLY way to be really happy !!! A smile, a kind little moment can turn around someone’s and my own day. What a relief to understand this !! Giving acts of kindness and receiving acts of kindness are just as impt as they allow someone else to enjoy giving.
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I ask people behind me in grocery lines, when they have obviously fewer items than I have, if they would like to go ahead. It does make us human. I so agree.
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Isn’t it funny how we have defining moments like these?
Mine was when I was visiting a bank with a small child in a pram and struggling to open the door . An older gentleman opened the door for me and I thanked him for his kindness. He looked at me and smiled before saying “You know, you are the first woman who has thanked me for this. Many see it as an insult to their equality but I was raised to have good manners and help those in need.”
Made me rethink so many things.
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Taking is the other side of the giving coin. They are both equal parts of the same thing. I enjoyed your wisdom.
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Excellent post ! it is true, everything does not revolve around us. When a man holds a door for us, you never know why or how much he needs to do an act of kindness for you. It is not an insult when a man holds a door for us, anymore that when we hold a door for a man carrying groceries in one hand and an infant in the other. How would we feel if he yelled at us for holding the door saying “I am a man! Don’t you think I am strong enough to hold the door for myself?”
I have seen instances of women yelling at men for holding doors. I have had men tell me that they are afraid to hold doors for women anymore because they do not want to be embarrassed by her reaction.
There is no reason to embarrass someone or refuse to accept a simple act of kindness.
Again, excellent post
Annie
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Absolutely. Spot. On.
🙂
Thanks, Annie.
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