This eighth day of December brought me some kindness and good cheer in the form of my ex-husband. To some, having the words ‘kindness’ and ‘good cheer’ in the same sentence as the word ‘ex-husband’ may seem to be some sort of Christmas miracle, but happily, and thankfully, it is the norm in my situation. Our marriage may have ended after eighteen years, but the love, respect, care, and concern that we have for each other has remained, even after we divorced three years ago. That is a gift in and of itself that we give to each other and to our two daughters every day, but today, he lent me a helping hand when I needed it.
Recently, I made my first major purchase since the divorce-a new kitchen table and chairs. It is set to be delivered soon, so, I decided to donate our old set to a local charity. There was only one small problem-I couldn’t move the table from the kitchen to the front porch, where it is to be picked up tomorrow afternoon. I had no idea it was that heavy! Ever since the divorce, I pride myself on all of the things I now can do on my own, such as cutting the grass, unclogging the toilet, saving the garage from being flooded by a blocked drain, and numerous other bad ass tasks that I have mastered, so, I was frustrated when the table proved to be a challenge. I knew what to do, though. I asked my ex-husband to help me, and he did, without hesitation.
We bought the table together early on in our marriage, so, it was rather fitting that he helped me move it to make room for a new table of my own, but one that he always will be welcomed at any time. In addition to helping me remove the table, he also stayed to have a nice visit with our daughters and to chat with me. It was a lovely evening, and I was cheered by the fact that while we may no longer be spouses, we are, and always will be, devoted parents and the best of friends. It is a priceless gift that keeps on giving.
Such a blessing indeed. Sadly, there are so many in this world that, when ways part, so does the love. You and your ex have given each other an extraordinary gift…may you both continue on this amazing journey of blessings and love. And kudos to you on the new purchase as well as in gifting the old one! Yayyy!
Thanks so much, as we are so very fortunate indeed, and we don’t take our relationship for granted at all. We don’t want to hurt each other or our daughters, and I am grateful that we are committed to being a family of four, even if we have two separate homes. I never thought that I would be excited about furniture, but I really am:)
Life changes, people change, feelings change… but it is the most beautiful thing finding a way to implement those changes in our lives in a new way in order to move on strengthened and empowered. A new life can begin! I am very happy for you!
Kristi, I love your quote. But, you indeed are turning the tables, metaphorically and physically. It is more than symbolic. I wish you the best eating many a meal, doing many a school project and playing many a board game with your girls at that table. Take care, BTG
That is a beautiful and refreshing attitude to have, kindness and forgiveness can be a challenge sometimes but it is so rewarding. Good for you my friend.
That is so nice to read. I have two ex-husbands. The first lives in Austria, and we get on okay – no arguments about the children. Mostly he talks to my children. The second is the complete opposite and I have a trespass order against him. So it is good to know that there are some great ex-husband friends out there. 😀
I am so sorry to hear about the situation with your second ex-husband, and I am glad that things are better with your first one. I feel very fortunate to have such an awesome father for our daughters and a dear friend for me!
After 18 years I can be in the same room as my ex and even exchange pleasantries but I am afraid that is where it ends. But then my marriage was not a happy one and it has many painful memories attached to it. I may have forgiven him and attempt to understand the psychology of why he did the things he did but that does not mean that I will forget the pain and anguish he caused the children and I.
I truly am happy that you and your ex are such good friends. It must make things so much easier for the children.
Everyone’s situation is unique, and I completely understand your ability to forgive but not forget. I am so sorry that you and your children endured so much pain because of your ex-husband, and I hope that all of you continue to heal. You deserve that and so much more.
My ex and I have remained friendly since our break-up about 10 years ago after 14 years of marriage, and though the break-up was kind of rough, we almost immediately resumed our friendly ways, and have stayed on talking terms ever since. Fortunately, there were no children involved in our marriage so it is just between the two of us and since we each have gotten our individual lives back on track, it is, as you, say, a real gift, in and of itself. Have a nice Christmas, you and your ex both.
Thanks for sharing your story, as it is refreshing to hear that other exes have been able to remain friends. I wish you and yours a very merry Christmas and a wonderful 2015!
Hi, Jan! I found your quote on Pinterest and included the pin in this post. I am so sorry that your name is incorrect, but since I did not create the pin, I cannot correct it. Also, I no longer contribute to this site, so, I have no administrative or editing abilities to try to assist in that manner. It is a great quote, and I am sorry that your name is misspelled.
Kindness Blog 
Reblogged this on That's Another Story.
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Such a blessing indeed. Sadly, there are so many in this world that, when ways part, so does the love. You and your ex have given each other an extraordinary gift…may you both continue on this amazing journey of blessings and love. And kudos to you on the new purchase as well as in gifting the old one! Yayyy!
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Thanks so much, as we are so very fortunate indeed, and we don’t take our relationship for granted at all. We don’t want to hurt each other or our daughters, and I am grateful that we are committed to being a family of four, even if we have two separate homes. I never thought that I would be excited about furniture, but I really am:)
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True. I love the words inscribed in the picture.
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So glad that you agree and that this resonated with you!
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Life changes, people change, feelings change… but it is the most beautiful thing finding a way to implement those changes in our lives in a new way in order to move on strengthened and empowered. A new life can begin! I am very happy for you!
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So beautifully put, and I appreciate you sharing such a lovely sentiment!
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Kristi, I love your quote. But, you indeed are turning the tables, metaphorically and physically. It is more than symbolic. I wish you the best eating many a meal, doing many a school project and playing many a board game with your girls at that table. Take care, BTG
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That is a beautiful and refreshing attitude to have, kindness and forgiveness can be a challenge sometimes but it is so rewarding. Good for you my friend.
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Thanks so much, and I am very grateful for the healthy and happy relationship I have with my ex-husband, as it benefits our entire family!
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That is so nice to read. I have two ex-husbands. The first lives in Austria, and we get on okay – no arguments about the children. Mostly he talks to my children. The second is the complete opposite and I have a trespass order against him. So it is good to know that there are some great ex-husband friends out there. 😀
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I am so sorry to hear about the situation with your second ex-husband, and I am glad that things are better with your first one. I feel very fortunate to have such an awesome father for our daughters and a dear friend for me!
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After 18 years I can be in the same room as my ex and even exchange pleasantries but I am afraid that is where it ends. But then my marriage was not a happy one and it has many painful memories attached to it. I may have forgiven him and attempt to understand the psychology of why he did the things he did but that does not mean that I will forget the pain and anguish he caused the children and I.
I truly am happy that you and your ex are such good friends. It must make things so much easier for the children.
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Everyone’s situation is unique, and I completely understand your ability to forgive but not forget. I am so sorry that you and your children endured so much pain because of your ex-husband, and I hope that all of you continue to heal. You deserve that and so much more.
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My ex and I have remained friendly since our break-up about 10 years ago after 14 years of marriage, and though the break-up was kind of rough, we almost immediately resumed our friendly ways, and have stayed on talking terms ever since. Fortunately, there were no children involved in our marriage so it is just between the two of us and since we each have gotten our individual lives back on track, it is, as you, say, a real gift, in and of itself. Have a nice Christmas, you and your ex both.
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Thanks for sharing your story, as it is refreshing to hear that other exes have been able to remain friends. I wish you and yours a very merry Christmas and a wonderful 2015!
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You have quoted me with my name wrong. I am Jan Blaustone, not Jane Blaustone. Thanks but please correct .
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Hi, Jan! I found your quote on Pinterest and included the pin in this post. I am so sorry that your name is incorrect, but since I did not create the pin, I cannot correct it. Also, I no longer contribute to this site, so, I have no administrative or editing abilities to try to assist in that manner. It is a great quote, and I am sorry that your name is misspelled.
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