Eyes of Judgement

Eyes of Judgement – by Sue Jones

Articles Submitted by Guest Authors, Kindness, Kindness - Real-life Examples, Kindness Reflections 21 comments

Eyes of Judgement

I see you looking at me with judgement in your eyes.

I don’t mind you looking at me, but must you show your feelings so plainly on your face?
What is it this time that you are finding to criticize?
Is it the way that I am dressed or is it the way that I walk? Maybe it is my children that have caught your eye.
Is it my hair? Or maybe it is my piercings and body art?
Does my weight bother you? Am I too fat or far too skinny to be deemed appropriate?
Do you find me different in some way?
Not fitting into the conventions of your kind of ‘normal’.

You don’t know my story any more than I know yours.

We are two strangers on a crowded street pushed along in a sea of others that are also different in some way or another.
The only difference between us is the judgement that I see in your eyes.
Convicted of a crime that only you are aware of. 

Would you look at me differently if my story was printed on my t-shirt?

Would that alter your feelings of distaste that are so plain to see?

If you knew I was ill you would not hesitate to reach out your hand.

If you knew that I struggle on a daily basis with issues that are not obvious to the eye would you offer me a smile?
Would your change your attitude if you understood that my child is not being naughty but is displaying symptoms of his disability?
What if my financial circumstances were such that I wear only what is given to me by the charity of others? Would that change the look in your eyes?

When you look at me with judgement it says so much.
Not about me but about you.

~

Sue JonesSue Jones, who blogs at It Goes on, is also know as Suzanne, Suz, Sue, Suzy Q or Peggy Sue depending on who is addressing her. She is a woman in her late 40′s with 2 adult children and one tween. She shares her home with the man of her dreams (a.k.a. The Garden Gnome), the Tween, HRH Princess Smudge (the cat), Mr Magoo (the goldfish), her canary (Madiba) and an aviary full of budgerigars and two bottom-dwelling quails. These all have names but only the Tween is able to remember them all. They share their garden with wildlife and birds.

 

21 comments

  2. Learning to tamper our judgements takes practice. I try to note every thought that leaves my head. If it isn’t in keeping with loving acceptance, I remind myself that WE SHARE THE LIGHT OF ONENESS. We all want the same thing. We are all in a different part of the journey.

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    1. It is so difficult to do sometimes and judgement often comes when we least expect it. It takes practice to push those thoughts away and replace them with non-judgemental thoughts.
      Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.

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  3. I always say who died and allowed you to judge because only God can judge as every saint has a weakness every person has an insecurity no need to be an adult bully about life

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  4. Sue, great post. The best advice to give is “you choose how you wish to react to someone” so I would not give too much power to people whom you have never met. One thing I have learned as an Old Fart, is I am constantly surprised how different people turn out from my initial impressions of them. Life is hard enough without inventing trouble where none may exist. Now, if I could practice more of what I just wrote……Have a great holiday. BTG

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    1. That is exactly right. We choose our reactions to what is presented to us or what life hands us. Sometimes though it is hard to override the human nature of fight or flight.
      Like you, I find it difficult to practice what I write also. 😉
      May you have an awesome Christmas period. 🙂

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  9. Very well written and cuttingly true Suz. I, like many, sometimes find myself judging others =- I suspect, like you say, it is an old survival trait that evolved when a stranger was always a threat and knowing their weaknesses was a asset. I often wondered if stopping this judgement intellectually wasn’t somehow cheating – not really addressing my tendency to judge. Not making me a “better” person – having judged in the first place. And then one day, i was watching an interview by a major network, of the Dali Lama. They asked him a very similar question to this – “Do you ever get angry at situations or people?” His answer was interesting: “Of course I do. When the emotion appears I have learned to recognize it and stop it so I can speak and act differently from my initial reaction.”

    It makes me feel better about my intellectual hijacking of any judgemental behaviour. It seems that even for the Dali Lama, it isn’t always possible to change initial thoughts that have been genetically programmed. All we can reasonably do is to catch those thoughts before they are acted upon and change our behaviour to reflect higher and more open understanding.

    Thanks so much for this post Suz, it is inspirational and appropos of the season.

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  10. What a thoughtful post. If only we could see the struggles of every person, our views of them would be much different. I try to make it a personal policy to not condemn or judge a person by only what I see, understanding that there is always more below the surface that I am not aware of. We all have something hidden below the surface, whether it be pain, financial burdens, illnesses, etc. If only people knew.

    Battling a medical condition myself, I understand all too well how people can judge without knowing/understanding. Having an autistic son, I also know all too well about how judgmental people can be over disabilities that they do not understand and of their parents who “obviously don’t know how to raise their child.” It can be frustrating, but all we can do sometimes is shake our head and keep moving forward, having compassion and on the uncompassionate.

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