When you’re on the receiving end of kindness — it’s milk — a honeyed, palliative sap with all associations of mothering & the cosseted dark womb.
But being kind is an altogether different experience.
It’s rising in the dark to run despite rain & icy winds while the world is sleeping.
Being kind can mean:
. Suppressing the urge to lash out because you feel momentarily better.
. Letting it go through to the keeper.
. Putting your needs second, third or taking them off the table, this time.
. Not adding fuel to the fire though you’re desperate to do so.
. Refusing to let someone else’s feelings determine yours.
. Sometimes, not speaking out.
. Sometimes, not saying what you really think.
. Appreciating a person is not just their last encounter with you.
. Remembering the good when you don’t want to.
. Knowing that when someone strikes at your sense of self it’s because they desperately need to affirm theirs and feeling compassion, rather than anger, for that humanness.
. Seeing yourself in the above.
. Admitting that you too can be unkind.
It’s not for the meek. Kindness demands vigilance, acute self-awareness and internal restraint, for which the rewards are not always obvious.
You also need to know the border at which kindness transmutes into self-abuse and not step over it.
That’s the sharper edge of the practice that means you must also:
. Lift the lid & name what is in front of you.
. Decline to buy into it.
. Refuse to agree because it’s easier and you’re lobbied (silently) to do so.
. Draw a boundary that is absolute.
All of which can be done with patience and love. But it’s not easy. Kindness can be a brutal master.
Dionne Kasian-Lew is the CEO of The Social Executive® a consultancy advising boards and executives on social media for business. Dionne is a professional speaker and author rated by Kred in the top 1% for global community influence. She is a graduate and member of the Australian Institute of Company Directors. – See more at: http://www.dionnekasianlew.com/about/#sthash.aqucmc6Q.dpuf
This article was first published on Be Your Whole Self, you can reach Dionne there or @dionnelew or on Google+.
Kindness Blog 
Reblogged this on Ta hendene til din kjære – se på dem og hold dem hardt Disse hendene skal du følge, leie og lede. Du skal få føle på varmen fra dem og kjenne en inderlig glede. De skal stryke deg og de skal holde rundt deg – de er ikke skapt for å såre i vrede For du skal ikke alene mer vandre. De skal klemme og kose og aldri klandre De skal skjerme deg for det du ikke selv ser. De skal elske og aldri forakte – bare hjelpe når du ber. Disse hendene skal jobbe for at dere skal få det godt De skal gi – og du skal takke for det du har fått. De skal tvinnes sammen i kjærlighet og være ømme og gode og et tegn på inderlighet Hendene du holder er sterke og unge De skal gjennom mye for din skyld når dagene er tunge De skal stryke og klemme og være gode og fromme De skal ruske i ditt hår og takke når dagen er omme Disse hendene skal følge deg gjennom livet. De skal holde fast ved deg og verne om samlivet De skal være hos deg når alle andre har gått De skal aldri slippe men holde fast og tørke tårer når du har grått. Hendene skal bære din ring med rette Den skal skinne og for alle berette Jeg elsker deg! – kan den bekjenne Det er bare en som har maken til denne En dag er hendene blitt ru og grå Hver fure og rynke forteller om livet som bak dere lå Dere kan minnes den dagen i dag – da et livslangt bånd Ble knyttet Og fra denne dag dere gikk Hånd i hånd..
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Dionne, this is sound, practical advice for living. It recognizes others’ imperfections as well as our own. There are several comments that resonate such as recognizing that a person is more than the last encounter with you. Or, that many times the difference are the words you chose not to say. The ones that would have made you feel better are usually less judicious. Well said. The only comment I would add is a saying I believe – do not mistake kindness for weakness. Happy holidays, BTG
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Amazing understanding about being kind! Really its not all that easy or rewarding. I can really relate to it 😍
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But the State Department disclosed on Friday that until final month
it had no way of routinely preserving senior officials’ emails.
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