This twenty-third day of December has left me physically and emotionally ill, making it difficult to focus on the goodness and light of this month and on writing this post. So, please, accept my apologies for what I fear will not be one of my better written pieces. Just like a gift, though, it’s the thought that counts right?!
Today found me not feeling physically well thanks to either a stomach virus and/or a flare up of my ulcerative colitis, with the upside being not having an appetite curbed my cravings for sugary holiday treats. That said, I also am worried about being able to attend my family’s traditional Christmas Eve gathering and then being able to report to work at the day shelter for homeless men on Christmas Day. So fingers, and everything else, crossed that I make a speedy recovery.
The emotional unrest was courtesy of an anxiety attack. The physical ailment definitely is preferable to the anxiety, as it leaves me feeling exhausted, ashamed, and defeated. It also can evoke some harsh reactions from those who do not understand how debilitating anxiety can be, but I won’t focus on those people in this post. I choose to focus on the people who show me the light when it gets dark.
Thankfully, I have a core group of people in my life who do understand what it is like when the anxiety overwhelms me, and when I reached out for their help this afternoon and into the evening, they grabbed my hand and held it during the worst moments. Their kindness and compassion were the soothing balms that my weary soul needed, and I thank each of them for taking time from their own lives to help me navigate mine. Tomorrow will certainly be better, as I get by with a little, and a lot of, help from my friends..
Just one thing each day . . ..