Singing a Song to My Mom Who Has Alzheimer’s

Confessions, Kindness, Kindness - Real-life Examples, Kindness Videos 22 comments

“I recently stopped bringing my guitar to my Mom’s home because she no longer recognizes me and doesn’t respond to it anymore. I wish I would have a played a lot more to her when she did.”

“This was when she lived with my Dad and I at home (before she moved into assisted living).”

by Joe Fraley

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22 comments

      1. I loved this, Joe, and i posted it to my fb. I, too, am caring for my dad, and what else can we do but love our parents. that is what i see watching you with your mama! and song is the way you will reach her. you gottta believe in the song!

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  3. Brought me to tears- it is so touching to see your mother smile at the you and the music, and that you shared this moment. Your mother looks like a young woman, I am sorry Alzheimer’s stole her from you.

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  7. Very beautiful. I love her smile. My wife used to sing “You are my sunshine” with her mother every time she spoke with her. She cries when she hears that song being sung now that her mom is gone. Best wishes, BTG

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  8. Thank you for sharing your Mom’s beauty and your love for all to witness. Your light touches me deeply. My Dad passed a year ago today from complications of dementia. I think that my voice may have soothed him but he was unable to articulate his feelings. Blessings to you and yours.

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  11. I work with dementia patients and I play guitar and sing to them. I see family members come in and visit. Depending on the stage of dementia , the residents sometimes recognize them and sometimes do not.

    Sometimes certain residents enjoy seeing their family members even if they do not know what their relationship to them is. Many of them respond to music when I play for them. I have seen people be able to connect sentences together and other cognitive things, after I played for music for them. Sometimes people that cannot talk well, will sing with me and be able to put sentences together as song lyrics that they could not put together if they were speaking.

    Whether or not it would be good for you to play guitar for her depends on a few things. Mainly how it makes you feel. Also how she responds to the music. People with dementia have all different personalities. Some of them are sweet and thankful. Some of them are funny. Some of them become angry or sad.

    I would not necessarily say , you should not play for her , because she does not remember you. Only if she does not like it or if seeing her makes you very sad.

    I would never fault anyone for not being able to handle the sadness of their loved one not recognizing them. It can be very traumatizing. But I just wanted to let you know how I have relationships with my residents.

    I love them very much and it is sad that they do not remember what happened the day before. But I remember and I believe that because I remember our interaction from the day before , that is does count. I get to know their likes and dislikes and their behavior patterns. So there is a continuous relationship happening. I can pick up from the day before even when they can’t.
    I can remember what songs they like and how they like me to speak to them and approach them.
    I hope you can find a way to have a relationship with her that is meaningful to you.

    Also, I can tell you that most of my residents do seem as thought they enjoyed the visit from the family even after the family member leaves. Love is always a good thing. It has power that can transcend above even dementia.

    Blessings,
    Annie

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    1. Hello Annie,

      Thank you for your compassionate, informative and insightful comment. Much appreciated.

      We would love to have you share from your experiences, with our readers on Kindness Blog, if you would care to guest blog at some/any point?

      No problems if not though 🙂

      Peace to you.

      Mike.

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  12. I am very honored to be invited to do that. I have lots of stories of kindness and compassion from working at nursing homes with dementia and also hospice patients.
    I have a particular story that comes to my mind. I would change the names to protect the privacy of the individuals.
    But I really think you would be touched by this story. I tear up now, as I am remembering the people and their courage.
    I can work on writing it, today and tomorrow.
    How would you like me to send it to you?
    Annie

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    1. Thank you, Annie. We will write to you immediately. As we are currently having some ‘issues’ with our e-mail system, if you do not receive the mail within 24-hours, please can you let me know?

      Best, Mike.

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