“Do someone a good turn today. Make sure they do not find out it was you. If they find out it was you, then it will not count.”
The idea of this concept is that if you do an act of kindness and let the person know you did it, then you are really just doing it for yourself in some way. You are seeking their praise and thankfulness for yourself. You are not truly doing something purely for the other person.
I disagree that it does not count, when the person finds out you did them a “good turn.” It does count and is perfectly fine.
In fact, some acts of kindness are impossible to do without the person knowing. It sometimes requires coordinating with them to make sure what you are doing is the best thing for them.
I do not think that anything is negated about a kind act, just because the person knows that you did it. In fact I think it is better, in a way. Think of it from the point a view of the person receiving the favor. When someone does something nice for me, I love to know who it was. I feel very good to know that a loved one or a perfect stranger did something out of their way for me.
In fact, we always reap some benefit from doing an act of random kindness. It does not matter if the person knows or not.
The act itself generates a positive energy that we will feel. The same is true for showing compassion for those you love. Random acts and acts for loves ones each have their own unique energy.
There is an energy interaction that occurs between two people when any act of kindness is done. It occurs, regardless of whether the act was in secret or not. The added element of the direct energy exchange between the two people is powerful.
The receiver of the kindness can be openly thankful to the person . They are able to communicate their appreciation. This “kindness connection” creates powerful energy. It is beneficial to both parties.
There is nothing at all wrong with the person knowing you did something kind for them.
In fact, when someone is by your side helping you, it is a wonderful thing. There is a feeling of support and encouragement that lifts the person’s self-esteem that is being helped. The self esteem of the person doing the kind turn, is also lifted. The combination of both people’s self esteem being lifted generates a special kind of positive energy. This is felt in both people.
This raising of self esteem of both parties is something that will have an effect far beyond the individual act of kindness. Both people are able to feel the power of a simple act of kindness. They will both be motivated to duplicate that good feeling they have.
Being kind to another person is an important element of humanity. It has power that can reach beyond the mundane. We are creatures that have great capacity for love and caring. When we turn on our ability to help others, we are truly furthering ourselves on the path to enlightenment and mindfulness.
There are of course, times when a certain person is able to receive our kindness in a positive way. We try to do something kind for another person and they are not open to accepting the help. They are not thankful or appreciative of what we did. Sometimes a person is just not in a state of mind to be open to receiving your kindness.
This will happen from time to time, but try not to be disheartened. More times that not, an act of kindness will build your self-esteem and build your mental resilience.
In my opinion every single act of kindness, no matter how small, is felt across the world. The same is true for acts of hate. The negative energy is felt everywhere.
The more we think of others and realize that kindness benefits all living things, the stronger we will become. Being a kind person is not a sign of weakness. Letting people know you want to or have done something kind for them is a way of generating meaningful human connection.
Human kind needs to be saved. The light of love and compassion is in us. In order for that light to become stronger, we must light the lives of others. Doing someone “a good turn” is something you should be happy with yourself for. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the validation it beings, when someone knows you did something for them.
Humanity needs love. Let your light shine by helping others when you can. Keep your eyes open for opportunities to touch another person’s heart.
Kindness is love. Love is the highest state of enlightenment. When you are acting out of love for another, you are connecting with the oneness of all of us.
You can read more of Annie’s writings at GentleKindness’s Blog.