There are first times for everything. The first time I drove a car, first time I broke my leg, first time I ate sushi, first time I went to work, first time I was fired — and I’ll never forget my first kiss. ‘Firsts’ are memorable parts of life and growing up.
Well, the same goes for that first night spent on the streets or in a homeless shelter. The first time you’re homeless, the intense feelings of fear and uncertainty are impossible to forget.
If you’ve never been homeless, it’s tough to describe that first night sleeping on the street. The fear and disillusionment are almost paralyzing. You just go through the motions, but at the same time you’re beating yourself up for being in this situation. It is very surreal because no one ever thinks they will become homeless. No one.
I’ll never forget my first night. All of a sudden and without warning, I found myself homeless in Koreatown near downtown Los Angeles. I was sober, but I had no money, no place to go and no one I could call for help. I was officially homeless.
This was all new to me. I had no homeless training. I had no clue how I was going to survive.
Just six months earlier I had a well-paying job in the television industry, overseeing syndicated programs like Wheel of Fortune. But now, I was the one who had suddenly landed on bankrupt. The irony was painful.
I decided to walk from Koreatown to North Hollywood, mainly because I knew the neighborhood and was comfortable with the area. I walked 11 or so miles to the valley. By the time I arrived, it was beginning to get dark, so I started to think about where I was going to sleep. I decided to try a park close to my old house where I used to play my conga drum on hot summer days. But when I arrived, I noticed gang members hanging around in the dark, so I moved on to another location.
I continued walking to park after park. I just didn’t feel safe in any of them. My feet were becoming swollen; I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I knew that the worst crimes in the city — muggings, beatings, shootings — happened at night to people living outdoors. I knew that when you sleep outside, you are vulnerable to just about everything. I was scared. Probably more scared then I have been or ever will be.
I think it was around 3 a.m. when I finally found a park near a small shopping mall in North Hollywood. It was empty, and the first place where I felt safe enough to lay down. Exhaustion quickly set in and I closed my eyes.
I don’t remember how much time had passed — maybe 20 minutes — when, suddenly, all the water sprinklers went off. I just laid there in disbelief, soaking. It’s impossible to describe the mixture of fear, anger, vulnerability and, well, homelessness I felt as I lay there.
Today, it’s easier for me to laugh at that bit of misfortune with the sprinklers. But the deep memories of pain and loneliness from that night will always be with me.
Sadly, thousands of people experience their first homeless night each year. No matter what circumstances led to their homelessness — eviction, foreclosure, unemployment, addiction, mental illness, domestic violence — being homeless for that first night is painful.
Now imagine a personal crisis has hit, and you no longer have access to money or a place to stay. It is now your first night homeless. What would you do?
Author Bio:
Mark Horvath
Just a hardly normal guy trying to navigate through an abnormal world by helping others.
Media Consultant.
Founder @invisiblepeople
I was homeless and I just felt like shit. I had put this on myself bc I was trying to avoid my past.. what with the abuse and all by my alcoholic foster mom. I said f*ck it and I took off with my then fiance.
I know the scared sh*tless part.
I’m in a good place now… thank god.
Sam
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Reblogged this on The Militant Negro™.
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Rich, poignant and a reality for too many of us. Thank you for sharing. I’ll be re-blogging at The Phone Booth Project Blog later this week.
J
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This can happen to any one of us. We must thank God for all of our blessings each and every day.
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Powerful information. I also valued the article on what not to say to a homeless person. Compassion people!
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Thanks for sharing! My 1st night homeless was fearful. I’d never been exposed to that culture. I found a Salvation Army and was homeless for a couple of weeks. That was a memorable experience because I met some pretty awesome people during that time. It seemed as though most of them actually preferred that lifestyle, but I suspected that it was indeed inner defeat and the wounds were just bandaged in denial. Substance abuse keeps many of them bound to that lifestyle as well. I have a lot of compassion for these lovely individuals and help our local shelters with donations and mentoring.
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Reblogged this on Luxcare Lifestyle Inc..
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I can’t imagine it maybe that is because I am part of large, close knit, loving family, my niece was homeless with her son who was only 18months old at the time and she spent a number of weeks couch hoping from on place to another till I ended up bringing her here and here she stayed for close to 9 months till she found a place to rent, she is now living with her mum after splitting with her partner of 4 years.
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Thanks for sharing your story. It is important to know it can happen to anyone, even well educated people.
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Thanks for sharing this story. You are right! It could happen to every single one of us one day. Those who have jobs and income, and the ability to even be healthy enough to work should feel extremely blessed and fortunate every single day. You might just wake up one day and be looking for a place to sleep as well. Count your blessings every minute and every single day and don’t ever take them for granted! So in the morning when you get up and you have a job, income, and a place to sleep, look in the mirror and say that person looking back at me is truly blessed!
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Reblogged this on brainsections.
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