Tom attwater

Tom Attwater Is Dying. His Daughter Might Die, Too. The Letter He Left For Her Is Unforgettable.

Confessions, Kindness, Kindness - Real-life Examples, Kindness Photos 398 comments

Tom Attwater is dying of a brain tumor, but he isn’t worried about his cancer. Instead, he is trying to save his 5 year-old daughter from her own.

tom attwater
Tom Attwater with daughter Kelli and wife Joely

He has vowed to raise approximately $820,200.00 for her cancer treatment, even if he wouldn’t be around to see her go through it.

Now Tom is almost half way to his fundraising target he is more adamant than ever to reach it. Tragically his deadline is short as his latest scans show his brain tumour is growing.

He says: “These days people make bucket lists, and the very top of mine – the one that matters most – is raising money to make sure Kelli gets the medical help she might need.

Tom attwater

“Some people have advised me to slow down and concentrate on enjoying the rest of my days. But how can I knowing Kelli’s bright life might be cut short?

“Fundraising is a lot of hard work, especially on days when I feel too poorly to get out of bed. But I honestly feel I can’t relax until I know Kelli can have the best chance of a long and full life. I’ve run out of chances, luck and time but have had a wonderful life. So if I drop dead tomorrow, I know I will have done my best for Kelli.”

Tom and Kelli Attwater

Kelli is only 5 years-old, but she has already beat the disease twice. She is likely to relapse and need treatment in the United States, so Tom is dedicated to leaving a legacy behind for her, as well as this touching letter. Read it below:

Darling Kelli,

I’m so sorry I will not get to see you grow up as I so want to. Please don’t blame people or the world for this. A lot of life is simply luck and mine is running out.

I wish I had the words to make you feel better. I wish I didn’t have cancer and you didn’t have to see me in pain as you often do now. I wish so many things were different but they are not.

Most dads and daughters have decades to chat around the kitchen table, their hands warmed by mugs of coffee, as the dad dishes out advice and their girls no doubt roll their eyes. We don’t have that time. I won’t be able to drop you off on your first day at big school, pick you up after your first date, hold you when your heart hurts or cheer when you graduate.

But while your old dad is still around I thought I’d try to give you some life advice in one go. I hope it gives you some comfort. I hope cancer never returns so that your life is long, fulfilled and happy.

School Everyone will say it’s vital to work hard at school. Hopefully you’ll always do your best. I did well at school but did it do me much good in life? Not really. School work IS important, but make sure you have fun too.

Boys At the moment you don’t make much distinction between girls and boys and see all children as friends. That’s typical of your sweet nature. But Kel, that will change as you get older. You might see them as stinky, pesky classmates in a few years’ time. But, probably at secondary school, you’ll realise they can be quite nice.

You’ll have boyfriends when you’re older – MUCH older hopefully! – and I won’t be here to grill them about their intentions. So here’s some advice from your old man. It’s very hard to describe how it feels to really be in love. You might remember seeing me and your mum laughing together and cuddling on the sofa, and once the love hearts and flowers fade that’s what real love looks like. Have fun finding it.

Always choose boys with gen­tlemanly values, manners and respect. Imag­ine them having tea and a chat with our family around our table and if you think they’ll fit in, you have found a decent young man.

Sadly, you will have your heart broken one day. It hurts like hell and will feel like the end of the world. But you will get over it. And even if a romance doesn’t work out, try to be kind. Boys have feelings too. Lastly, if you have a special boy pal who is always there for you when boyfriends come and go, don’t take him for granted. Don’t overlook him. He might really care for you.

Marriage I often dreamt about your wedding day and imagined filling up with tears as I walked you down the aisle before giving you away. I won’t be able to do that Kelli. Sorry sweetheart. But I will be looking over your shoulder on that day, proud and happy you have found a special someone to love you and care for you.

I wonder if you will play what you call “the family song” (which is really I’ll Be There by The Jackson 5). It meant so much to me and my brother and sister growing up, and I know it does to you too. I’ll be there on your wedding day in spirit.

Mummy You and your mum will argue at times, especially when you’re a teenager. Please remember she adores you and wants the best for you. Give Mummy a hug when she is feeling sad and help each other get through any horrible times when I am gone. When you’re a teenager you might think your friends are right and your mum is wrong. But she has to make hard decisions for you and, more than any friend you’ll ever have, has your interests at heart. Treat her well.

Family Nothing is more important than family and the values they give us. Nothing.

Friends Treat people as they treat you. Be nice to anyone who helps you, always. Bullying is horrible – never become one.

Christmas & birthdays On your first Christmas without me, I’d love if you and Mummy would light a candle and remember me for a few minutes. It would be great if you two did the monkey dance together. Jumping around shaking our bottoms always made us laugh. That’s something to make me smile from up above. I’d also love if you visit my parents on Boxing Day. They will be hurting too.

I’ve given Nanny Sue presents for all your birthdays. I wish I could be there to see you open them. Hopefully you will like everything as it’s hard to imagine you at 10, 15, 20. I wonder if you’ll still like One Direction. I wonder if they’ll still make you dance around the living room.

Career You were two when you told me you wanted to be a “princess astronaut” so you could wear nice dresses and find new planets. You might now realise that’s not possible. But so many things ARE possible for you, darling. Do what makes you happy and that you enjoy. If you do so, life suddenly becomes much, much easier.

You may need to start a few different careers to find the one you enjoy, but so be it. One life, one chance.

Manners Always remember your please and thank-yous. The reason Mummy and I drum manners into you is because they will help you throughout your life. Always be courteous, especially to elders. Never put a knife in your mouth. Remember to write thank-you letters for gifts of kindness as it is always nice to act with grace and gratitude. (And please note that poo jokes are only funny when you are five, you cheeky girl!)

Learn to drive Most dads teach their daughters to drive and usually fall out in the process. Make sure you learn how to drive as soon you can – it opens up the world for you. Also, make sure Mummy doesn’t teach you (just joking, Joely).

Travel abroad It’s a cliche to say travel broadens the mind, but it’s true. See as much of the world as you can. But never on a motorbike (too dangerous).

Be happy You never laugh at 50%: you always laugh at 100%. Your laugh takes over your whole body and is highly infectious. I hope you never lose that. There is no point in asking you not to be sad when I go. I know you will be, princess. And I wish I could be there to wrap my arms around you and snuggle you until you smile again. Remember the Eeyore teddy I bought you from a charity shop? You said you’d keep him safe and cuddle him when you miss me. That’s a great idea. You can feel sad and use it as a driving force throughout your life. Or you can just be sad. You know which one I hope you choose.

Be charitable Please give to charities. Charities have been good to you and I. You’ll probably always remember our trip to Disneyland. But I’ll never forget the sacrifices people made to pay for your healthcare if ever cancer returns. Elderly people sent prayer cards and £10 notes they couldn’t afford. Heads were shaved, miles were run, thousands were raised. All for you. It’s important to pay back. Doing good deeds uplifts the soul. Never forget there are people worse off than you who you can help.

Remember your life motto Always keep trying. You might remember that I taught you to say “giving up is for losers”. I failed a number of times in my life but never gave up. Kelli, never give up.

Believe in yourself In life, many people will say you cannot do things. You make up your mind. Can you? Do you want to? Big challenges involve risks so make smart choices. Those who told me I couldn’t do certain things didn’t want me to do them. If you want something, it is nearly always possible, so do your best. I’m sure there’s a hell of a lot you can achieve!

I know you will make me proud and do something great in my memory. I know you can do it – so let’s start now.

And finally… Thank you for being you, Kelli. Thank you for paying me the biggest compliment of all time by calling me Daddy. Having you as my daughter is the greatest honour of my life. Thank you for teaching me more about love and happiness than any other person.

Enjoy your life. Don’t rush through it. I will be waiting.

All my love, always, to you princess and to Mummy,

Daddy xxxxxxxxxxTom and Kelli AttwaterIf you would like to donate to help save Kelli’s young life, visit her Just Giving page. It’s not fair that Kelli and her mom will be losing Tom so soon… but it’s even worse to know that young Kelli has her own big battles to fight.

Source: Just Giving / Help Kelli

Tom and Kelli Attwater

Please share Tom’s letter with others. Help us spread the word and save Kelli.

Sources: Daily Mirror & ViralFury

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398 comments

    1. keep on praying as i am also praying for you guys. Miracle happens in many ways. God loves us all. May gods holy will be upon you two. Christ have mercy lord have mercy

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  3. I am speechless, absolutely speechless. i lost my wife five years ago to cancer, anything I can do for you and your family, please let me know…. AJ

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  10. Reblogged this on surprisemama and commented:
    I do not normally reblog posts, but this one is striking. I think that all of us as parents fear something like this happening to us OR to our most precious loved ones…not to both. Life is often too short.

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  12. The father love touched me deeply and I cried so badly while reading this 😥 it is not easy and i’m sure the mother will be a thousand times devastated. I’ll pray for Kelli, for her to recover and lead a happy life. I hope the amount of money I’ve donated can help. Everyone, please help this kind soul here 😦

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  19. Really difficult to “rap my brain” around this touching story. Truly puts many many things into perspective. My heart ached(s) reading the chronicle their lives. Many blessings to that family.

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  22. This is fucking bullshit. This guy is a hero for what he is doing but is there really not a single hospital or doctor in the world that won’t help his daughter out through compassion and ethics alone and let him enjoy the short amount of time left with her? There shouldn’t even be a price tag on saving her life and he shouldn’t have to raise money to begin with. Doctors are already paid nearly double of what their European counterparts get and hospitals make a shit load of money. WOW

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    1. I agree 100%. It’s sad that he even has to go to these extremes. I find it disheartening that life can be a lower priority than money.

      But, that’s today’s society. You either have cash or you don’t and get ignored.

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  26. as I sit here and have read this I’m crying, I don’t know what I would do if I lost my only child. although I have lost 2 of my sisters at a young age 1 murdered 1 drowned and just old age(parents). and it has taken it’s toll. for anyone that can just judge and think people are just out for money, well you haven’t been there and feel thepain of losing your family!!!

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  28. Pingback: Relationships Do Matter – REBLOG: Tom Attwater’s letter to his 5 year old girl.

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  33. Reblogged this on JavaGirl's Life and commented:

    What a lovely letter. She is a very lucky little girl for having such an amazing father who took time to write such a beautiful letter. I know she will cherish everything written in this letter as she gets older.

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  34. Reading this broke my heart. I try to imagine what it must be like and simply cannot. You are an incredible father for going the distance through your own struggles just to put your daughter first. That is beautiful. I think of my nearly 6 year old daughter and realize just how lucky i am that she is healthy. I send my love, prayers, hopes and well wishes to you and your family. God bless!

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  36. This is absolutely beautiful! Some fathers can’t explain all those things in a life time of being a parent, for you to able to do that is incredible! My father has never given much thought about me and to see someone write such a caring and truthful letter for their daughter is beautiful! As soon as I get some money, this is the first thing it will be going to! I hope your beautiful daughter survives this; everyone in the world can become strong through there mind; I always say ‘you never know how fast you can run untill your in true danger’ and I believe it is jut the same as being strong! I hope that you believe in your fabulous dad’s advice when you get older; I send love to the people around you and strength; I hope your daughter enjoys her life and stays well! Absolutely stunning! It’s heart warming and heart breaking struggles in life like this which make you trust and believe in the strength and kindness off people; take care! X

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  37. Shag off you scammers ! These folks live in the UK where medical care is free, paid for by the taxes the government takes from the public. Why raise funds to pay for free care, while claiming that the UK does not provide such treatments. What a lie that must be. The UK is one of the most advanced countries in the world and to not provide the care needed for such a condition is criminal on the part of the government. Thus – this is a scam being run to raise funds for some “charity” to enjoy the benefits of while the patient gets treated by the government provided medical care.
    ps. absolutely the best written scam material I’ve ever read. And the money collected justifies the extra effort !
    Gold medal in the scam olympics!

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  38. Hi im 24 years old. I amon a adult swim team in Connecticut many swim meets we do are for fund raising things like this. Maybe you guys could try to do a swim race to raise money! Like we have a swim meet at Harvard that 350 people will b at they pay $40 for registration and each race a person signs up for is 5 dllrs extra. So maybe you could create and open water swim that a beach could donate the day to rent out. Just an idea good luck to your family!

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  39. Tom, you left out one important detail – God and faith. It’s so much more important than all the EXCELLENT fatherly advice you gave your daughter.

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  43. I have lost many of my aunts and uncle due to cancer. I just lost my grampy this past November and buried on Xmas eve. You are such . Sweet little girl
    Your story brought tears to my eyes. .my family and i will be praying for ou and your family. I I’ll be donating via text. Please stay strong and never give up. God bless

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  44. Wow what a touching story. Made me cry all the way through. I wish that this didn’t have to happen. I really hate seeing kids lose their parents and vice versa. Life can be cruel but we’ve all got to die at some time. I think its awesome he is giving to his daughter and his letter was so wonderful! Hope the rest of his days are filled with laughter and happiness and then when he passes that he rests in peace and she never gets cancer back!!!

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  46. Reblogged this on She_Who_Hears and commented:

    What a Legend. If anyone needs a new perspective on life, read this. If only every child had a Daddy like this, the world would be a much better place. I was / am lucky to have a Daddy whom I love. 🙂

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  47. Pingback: Tom Attwater Is Dying. His Daughter Might Die, Too. The Letter He Left For Her Is Unforgettable. | tersia burger

  50. Such a beautiful family. The advise you have shared she will be reading for the rest of her life. I would suggest making a lot of home made videos if you haven’t already. She will forget how you laugh sounds like, or your smile. With the tapes she will always remember how you beam when you saw her mother. How your hair looked, how tall you were and all the little things about you she might have forgotten. While trying to raise money for your daughter please don’t forget the memories. Memories will be much more important to her. I am so sorry this had to happen to you. I am reading your words all the way in New Jersey, USA and your words brought me to tears. You have done good Dad. You have done all you can do. Your daughter will love you forever, you will always be her father and most importantly she will always remember you as the man that fought for her. You are the first man your daughter has ever loved and you will be the last. Regardless, of the boyfriends or husband, she will remember you as the man that fought for her even when he was no longer here.

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