11 comments

  1. “Men tell me that this isn’t what women want. That being chivalrous (Essentially: Performing simple acts of kindness) is unwelcome. That men will get stepped on.”

    These kinds of men have been damaged by unresponsive, emotionally immature women, turning them to the pick-up world that convinces them that it is ok to act this way. Women have been damaged by unresponsive, absent fathers who could not give them emotional confidence and security growing up. Men and women have to start going for relationships that contain kindness as a virtue, and be with people who make them feel confident being vulnerable and honest.

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  2. Mike, excellent article and well said. I have lived by the saying “Do not mistake kindness for weakness.” A couple of additional points. One of the attributes of great leaders is their willingness to deflect credit to others, where as lesser leaders will assume credit, even when it is undeserving. Not only is it kind, it is egalitarian and reflective of a team effort and shows an inner strength that “I do not need the personal credit.” Two of the greatest leaders over the past 100 years have been Gandhi and Martin Luther King, whose inner strength allowed them the courage to fight with civil disobedience. It would have been easier and erroneously viewed as more manly, if they fought back with fists or weapons. It also would have been less successful than what they did.

    And, one of the greatest literary heroes in book and film is Atticus Finch. To fight for a black man in the Jim Crow south was so courageous, that when he left the courtroom after losing the case, the black minister told Miss Jean Louise to stand, because her father is passing. And, Atticus’ showing the courage to not fight and wipe the spittle off his face is one of most memorable scenes. Yet, the counsel of the neighbor to Jem is telling. “There are some people put on this earth to do our unpleasant tasks. Your father is one of them.”

    Well done, sir. BTG

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    1. I’ve never read ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’. How shameful. Currently, I’m reading and enjoying ‘East of Eden’ for the first time and then after I think I know what I should read next 🙂

      Best, Mike.

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