Being a man who writes about kindness and chivalry can bring some interesting lessons. One of which, is just how many people feel as though being kind is a sign of weakness.
Men tell me that this isn’t what women want. That being chivalrous (Essentially: Performing simple acts of kindness) is unwelcome. That men will get stepped on.
People say if you don’t care then you’ll never get hurt, and if you hold no expectations for others, you’ll never be disappointed. While, in theory, these statements are true – they don’t take into account one very important piece of the puzzle:
We are all human, and we all have wants, needs, and emotions. Ignoring our very most inner core is, I would argue: A weakness.
Here are seven reasons why the kindest people are actually, in reality, the strongest.
Kind people put themselves out there.
Anyone who has ever admitted their feelings, something embarrassing, or revealed a secret, understands that it is no easy task. The emotional fortitude it takes to reveal your inner-most self to another human being is a special kind of strength. One only reserved for those with the strongest of spirits.
Kind people have the power to help others.
Strength is not only about what you can do for yourself, but also what you can do for others. Strength can be shared without being decreased. Kindhearted people have more of a willingness to help others, thus giving them an added layer of power over those who just act selfishly. Kind people are the only ones who can make a difference in the world.
Kind people have built their resilience.
When you lift weights, you physically damage your muscles and break them down. When this happens, they repair themselves – but not back to their previous state. They grow back bigger and stronger than they were before. But, they can’t do it without being damaged.
The same happens for your heart (not literally…). The more challenges you face, the more times you are hurt, the more resilient you become. See point number one…kind people are more likely to put themselves out there – which, yes, admittedly gives them higher chances of getting hurt. But in the long run, they are smarter, wiser, and stronger due to these experiences.
Kind people have control over their own emotions.
Have you ever worked in customer service? Or, any position where you deal with people directly? Hell, have you ever had an argument with your significant other where you had to take a step back and a deep breath? Kindhearted people have the tolerance and patience necessary to remain cool, calm, and collected in these circumstances.
Anyone who has ever needed to keep their emotions under control knows it takes more inner strength than it does to let yourself be consumed.
Kind people have developed themselves further.
When you care for other people, the experience becomes internal as well as external. If we aim to have self-awareness, what we love (or don’t love) about another will open our eyes to what we love (or don’t love) about ourselves as well.
If we shut ourselves off to the world, we only allow stimuli into our lives that we choose. This makes our personal growth process look more like walking down a narrow hallway, rather than walking out into an open field where the possibilities are endless. If we open our minds to being influenced by others, we never know what we might learn.
Kind people have gained a new perspective on the world.
One of the things that makes life so interesting is the vast diversity of people on our planet. Each one of us has a unique background, upbringing, thought process, and outlook. What an amazing opportunity it is to be able to tap into any mind on the planet simply by having a conversation and asking questions…
Without this care or desire, we only spend time with those who are just like us, and can never develop into a fully well-rounded person.
Kind people find more happiness in the long run.
It’s simple, really. Emotional connections with others make us more fulfilled and help us lead more complete lives. Shutting out this possibility may eliminate risk of being hurt, but it is also eliminating the possibility of finding happiness with another.
Bonus: You will make others happier as well. One of the best things we can feel is the love from someone else. Their genuine caring for our well-being. You have the power and ability to give this gift to someone, just by caring about them.
Do not let the harsh world rob you of your emotions. Do not let the cruelness of another deprive you of the deep love you can feel within yourself. We are all humans, and we can all thrive in this life together, if only we would be a little kinder to each other.
Author Bio: James Michael Sama
I am a Secular Humanist, a believer in human equality and fairness. I fight for what’s right no matter how unpopular it may make me. I have no problem voicing my opinions for the greater good. I contribute to & start fundraisers when I can, and I share them all over social media when I can’t.
I love to spark thought and discussion. To make people think. To snap people out of their daily routines and wonder in awe at the world around them and remember that they are part of an entire human species, and we are all in this together. I think it’s important to question everything, and then question the answers you get. If someone tells you something is true, ask them why. If they can’t give you a good answer…do your own research and decide what YOU believe is true. This is how we grow, learn, and escape from dogma.
I have a passion for success and am striving towards it. I come from an amazing family and I’m very close with them, and much of my time is spent with them. Other passions of mine are acting (seen in feature films, commercials & TV) writing (obviously), traveling, learning, racing (cars), staying fit, and enjoying life. Feel free to connect!
- Read more at: http://jamesmsama.com/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/JamesMSama
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“Men tell me that this isn’t what women want. That being chivalrous (Essentially: Performing simple acts of kindness) is unwelcome. That men will get stepped on.”
These kinds of men have been damaged by unresponsive, emotionally immature women, turning them to the pick-up world that convinces them that it is ok to act this way. Women have been damaged by unresponsive, absent fathers who could not give them emotional confidence and security growing up. Men and women have to start going for relationships that contain kindness as a virtue, and be with people who make them feel confident being vulnerable and honest.
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Nailed it. Totally.
Thanks.
Best, Mike.
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🙂
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Reblogged this on Luxcare Senior Care.
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…and kind and compassionate people love and care for themselves… first and therefore know how important it is to share the feeling of joy that it generates… Barbara
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Mike, excellent article and well said. I have lived by the saying “Do not mistake kindness for weakness.” A couple of additional points. One of the attributes of great leaders is their willingness to deflect credit to others, where as lesser leaders will assume credit, even when it is undeserving. Not only is it kind, it is egalitarian and reflective of a team effort and shows an inner strength that “I do not need the personal credit.” Two of the greatest leaders over the past 100 years have been Gandhi and Martin Luther King, whose inner strength allowed them the courage to fight with civil disobedience. It would have been easier and erroneously viewed as more manly, if they fought back with fists or weapons. It also would have been less successful than what they did.
And, one of the greatest literary heroes in book and film is Atticus Finch. To fight for a black man in the Jim Crow south was so courageous, that when he left the courtroom after losing the case, the black minister told Miss Jean Louise to stand, because her father is passing. And, Atticus’ showing the courage to not fight and wipe the spittle off his face is one of most memorable scenes. Yet, the counsel of the neighbor to Jem is telling. “There are some people put on this earth to do our unpleasant tasks. Your father is one of them.”
Well done, sir. BTG
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I’ve never read ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’. How shameful. Currently, I’m reading and enjoying ‘East of Eden’ for the first time and then after I think I know what I should read next 🙂
Best, Mike.
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Mike, you must read it, especially in light of your post. Best wishes, BTG
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So bloody true, a great post
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Excellent.
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Reblogged this on My Daily Musing.
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