21 comments

  1. WOW, this piece is so very beautiful and moving, I am crying at my office desk…. you are such a talented writer, just amazing. This is my first visit to your blog and I am blown away, I am looking forward to reading much more of your work, again, I am stunned…. Namaste, Michelle

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  2. I like it. Having walked through similar circumstances, I can say I understand how you felt, and feel. After 25 years since the loss, a few key things have remained after the dust settled. First, our hope , security, faith and trust must be in God above any other being. People come and go, money too, relationships, jobs, and all that. God is the same yesterday today and forever. Next, the Bible says with much wisdom, comes much sorrow- learning more about how this world works can bring sorrow, but we are gaining wisdom as well. Lastly, we have no idea what others are suffering, and we are not their judge. You put into words what many people have not understood yet- Good for you.
    tj

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  3. I truly hope your lessons stick with me for the rest of my life. I resolve to practice more patience and to better control my anxiety and to allow others to learn from their mistakes rather than my trying to prevent them from having the opportunities and by doing so to enjoy my reality rather than trying to make it theirs. I resolve to just listen when people need to talk only validating what they feel not offering my opinion. Thank you for sharing your lessons. You are blessed to have your brother’s spirit walking beside you always.

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  4. Gretchen, this is very moving and powerful. Thanks for sharing your story. My wife’s brother got married a week after their little brother died of leukemia. It was a wake and celebration. All the best, Keith

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  5. I’m reading this with tears streaming down my face. I lost my baby brother (and I virtually raised him) very suddenly and unexpectedly 5 months ago. I can’t seem to quit crying.

    Such a sweet poignant story.

    Thank you!

    God’s Blessings.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you, Gretchen. Thank you for sharing your wonderful brother with all of us; this is powerful and life-changing. My mother is dying of metastatic breast cancer, and is pretty much confined to bed and is in Hospice now. As I and my dad care for her, I cherish each moment. I know with all my heart that when she transitions to the other side, she will still be with us–just as your brother is for you. Our spirits do not die, nor does our love for those who pass on before us, or their love for us.

    Thanks, too, for reminding us that we simply do not know what others are going through. That person who stands in the way in the supermarket may be dealing with a deadly disease, or maybe exhausted from caring for a loved one. We don’t know, and giving others the benefit of the doubt is kindness and goodness.

    Again, thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I echo all the compliments here that this is beautifully written Gretchen. Your memories sparked so many of my my own with my step sister. I have fondness and bittersweet tears throughout the years she’s been gone. Although I feel her presence at times and that comforts my heart. I’m so happy that you have those moments of feeling your brothers connection as well. ❤️

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  8. what a powerful post ! my friend, you reminded me of my own experiences of losing my 7 year old son, my mom and very recently there were two deaths in our family.. I admire every learning you have shared, it was so touching and warm and I could relate easily to your experiences. Thanks for your kindness, you have made a difference to me.. reminded me of all the kindness that I have experienced and I feel motivated to write a post on kindness… thanks for sharing !!

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  9. What a beautiful post, but; you haven’t spent 15 years without him, he’s walked beside you every one of those days, you just haven’t been able to see him….. Spirit, are just like you & me, they just don’t have earthly bodies, They think, they feel, they love, and they never forget the people who’ve touched their soul.

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  10. Hello Kelly,
    Your story made me relive all the moments of my life too.
    I lost my baby brother at his peak beautiful age of 25. All this happened in July 2012. My parents were here in the US to help me with my 3rd child. It was just 20 days of their stay on the morning of July 31 we got a call from back home , India saying he has disappeared in the woods while he had been to a team party in one of the beautiful remote water places faraway from home.
    My heart broke after I heard the news. I took courage and convinced my parents to go back to India to find him safe and I shall manage myself here.
    I still remember my mother saying to me while I was driving her to the airport,”I have a feeling that he is no more with us, only one request is that pls ask the relatives to hold on to my sons body cause I want to see him one last time”.
    My Dad who was such a chirpy person…that day I saw him just shut up and not utter a word after he heard the news.
    Later when I came back home the news this time was much clearer. He had drowned in the dam while he just walked into it to enjoy the warmth of the water. He is the only among the 12 that this happened. I questioned all the time..why him n not anyone else.
    My heart tore apart not knowing what next. Felt like I lost a part of me forever.
    Words cannot explain enough what I went through. I didn’t get a chance to hold him one last time . I can never forgive myself for that.

    Exactly a week later I had my son…didn’t know weather to feel happy of him being born or mourn the loss of my brother. Everyone told me that my brother is reborn as my son. Just the feeling keeps me alive and a reason to live.

    I convince my parents the same that my brother is now my son. Never say we lost him. Give my son all the love they would have showered on my brother.
    I know it isn’t easy as said…if losing a sibling hurts me this much I can’t compare it to a mothers pain who gave birth and nurtured him since day 1.

    Today as I am penning all my experiences my tears don’t stop but the only difference is I have my son who is 4 ,doing all possible things to make me smile.

    Remember…you are never alone..!!

    Like

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