One of my best friends killed himself at the beginning of this year.
For the first few weeks after it happened I was in that state of mind where you can just about manage to block it out enough to get yourself through the day, only to have it suddenly overwhelm you out of nowhere.
10 days after he died, I was on a packed commuter train out of London, squashed into a corner seat. Some little thing had set me off and before I could compose myself I started unravelling before the carefully averted eyes of my fellow commuters. I rang my Dad to try and talk it through, but couldn’t calm down. Trying desperately not to sob audibly, pressing myself into the window and willing myself to stop shaking; just thinking about my friend stepping off the ledge over and over…
Then the lady sat beside me – a well dressed, middle aged lady who turned out to be Canadian-but her arm on my shoulder and said
“I couldn’t help but overhear; I just want you to know that whatever you’re going through now, I promise you it’ll be ok.”
We ended up talking about my friend the whole journey, and she chose to share with me that she lost her first husband to suicide. She talked to me about bereavement and loss, and then she made me laugh. She gave me a hug when we got to her stop, and I never saw her again.
I’ll remember her for the rest of my life.
~ by ’Strawby’
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It’s important to speak out if you’re struggling with mental health issues. If you are affected by this article or need help with mental health challenges that arise, big or small please visit BetterHelp. They can custom-match you to a therapist to help you navigate your way to a healthier, happier you.
Kindness Blog 
When my son died a friend came to be with me until my daughter arrived. She said tell me about Matthew. It was the most powerful thing she could have said and filled my mind with positives about a special young man. I will never forget her either.
Kindness in action!
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Thank you for sharing, what a lovely, powerful example of kindness at such a sad time.
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What a precious gift of understanding and compassion. When anyone dies the best thing we can do is remember them and share their special qualities. Whether they were in our lives for just a short time or many many years, they never really leave us. They live on in the love we shared. May you keep you friend in your memories all your life.
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An Angel was sent to you.
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I never know what to say to those who are grieving but I’ve found that simply being there, like this woman was for you, is what really matters. Imagine if instead of averting our eyes and acting as though we don’t see the pain of others, we all had the courage to plop down beside the broken, put our arms around them and simply let them know they are not alone. What a world that would be! I am truly sorry for your loss and I pray that a warm smile and loving arms will always be there when you need it most!
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wow; amazing story, what are the odds that just the right person would be near enough to overhear, and to reach out and offer comfort. life does indeed align at the right time.
just today i was remembering people who committed suicide, and i thought, ‘i should write down their names and hold each person close to my heart.’ suicide of friends/associates has touched my life many many times… perhaps most everyone knows many who were caught in that undertow.
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The kindness of strangers can make a huge difference
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I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend! We lost my brother in 1976 when he wanted to move onto his “Next Life”! So glad you had someone there in the moment you needed it! I was finally able to write about my brother 42 years after. Somethings take time!!
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It’s only natural, to experience such intense grief after you’d lost someone so dear to you, and if you keep everything bottled up inside, then, when all the emotions finally burst out of you, it will, create a huge disaster, and hurt those around you, so it’s better, that you start letting your sense of loss take over, and grieve over your friend each and every day, and eventually, you will be able to, move on from the loss of someone who’s, so close to you…hope you feel better.
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Whoa, that was heart wrenching. It really hits me, because there were many times I have tried to commit suicide. And when you’re in the moment, you just so locked in your own negative thoughts. Reading this definitely was an eye opener. Hopefully it won’t happen again, but if does, i will think about this entry.
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