I was in a really tough spot a couple of years ago. I was 24, homeless, and extremely depressed. I had recently stopped shooting Heroin (for about 6 months) hoping my life would magically turn around, but the depression and anxiety were still there.
I had to beg for change to get my next meal, live in filthy clothes, and sleep in a tent by a river infested with spiders and mosquitos.
It was the 4th of July and my 24th birthday was only a couple of days away. I remember thinking about how I missed my family, and how impossible it seemed to turn my life around.
Some kind stranger gave me $30 dollars, and I got it in my head that buying a fifth of cheap vodka and $20 of black tar (Heroin) was an easy way out. I went to a park and drank like half the bottle all the while watching the happy families have BBQ’s and laughing.
I knew my tolerance would be little to none, and being drunk and shooting Heroin is a one way ticket out.
I cooked up the shot and watched all the happiness around me for about 20 min then I put the needle in, and the last (thoughts) I remember were “This is it. It’s finally over…”
I pushed the plunger, and faded into darkness. It was weird though, It was like my last thoughts dragged on forever, and I entered a weird void where I was just floating.
Luckily, a couple visiting the park from Texas had been watching me, and were making a plate up for me from their BBQ. The husband noticed me go down and rushed over and called an ambulance.
They later told me I was purple and unresponsive and they had never seen anyone that color before.
I woke up in the hospital scared, and confused. A doctor came in and told me what had happened. Then the couple came in. I had no idea who they were, but after talking I admitted to them that it was a suicide attempt and not an accidental overdose.
They refused to leave my side and checked me out of the hospital. They drove me to their hotel, let me take a shower and gave me 3 meals a day for the duration of their trip.
I’m still thankful to them everyday.
If you are feeling suicidal please call a Suicide Hotline for confidential and caring advice.