women's rights

So…My Girlfriend Had an Abortion

abortion protestA few weeks/month ago, my girlfriend and I went to a clinic and had an abortion. It was her decision more than anything, and I agreed with her and supported her through every moment of it. That wasn’t the problem, we are both pro choice and agreed we weren’t ready.

The problem was, well, the protesters. I respect every human, and their opinions. If you think every fetus has a right to life, I will not argue with you, only state that my opinion is different, but that I respect yours, as it has nothing to do with me. But these people badgered and shamed every woman that walked into the clinic.

The procedure only takes 5-10 minutes, but the overall visit takes 2-4 hours, so I spent a long while in the waiting room. I tried to remain as non threatening and friendly as possible, because a good percentage of the women I saw were visibly scared, shaken or upset. But countless times I heard women walk out into the hallway to sob their eyes out. Or to go outside for fresh air or a cigarette, only to go right back inside and hold their heads in their lap. It sickened me.

So I went outside and sat on the front stairs to smoke. The protesters kept their distance from me, but hassled any woman that walked by.

So I decided to stay outside after finishing my cigarette, and held the door open for every one of those women.

Some I said nothing to, some just “hello, how are you” etc, etc. but those that were visibly scared, I approached them as peaceably as I could and asked if they wanted to talk, told them I wouldn’t judge them or convince them of anything, just if they needed another human being to talk to, I’d be happy to sit with them.

When my girlfriend finally came out, she broke down in tears and hugged me tightly. I am a man so I have no idea, but apparently it is an invasive and very uncomfortable.

The only thing she said to me was something to the effect of “god I hope those protesters aren’t still out there”.

abortion protestThat day stuck with me more than any in recent memory, it hurt to see someone I love subjected to that, hell any woman subjected to that. Those people were terrorizing and shaming women in an already scary and uncomfortable situation, and that was disgusting to me.

I resolved to do something about it, so the following week, my girlfriend and I went back up to the clinic with a bunch of flowers and sat on those steps.

Every woman that came to the clinic and was subjected to the protesters, we handed them a flower and offered a friend to talk to, no judgements, no talking them into or out of anything, just someone to help make things easier. I can’t begin to describe how good it felt to counteract all the things those people were putting those women through, so we did it again, the following week, and the week after that.

We’re not going to stop, in fact, we have friends that are coming with us next time. Hopefully we can continue for a long time, maybe to other clinics.

We’re not out to change people’s opinions, or even encourage abortions. But if people are willing to terrorize and shame women they don’t even know that are already under a lot of stress, I feel like there should be someone there to offer a helping hand too.

Finally, to anyone out there who is pro-life, and I mean this sincerely, good for you, stand by your opinions and morals.

But if you go so far as to do that to other people, people you don’t know or don’t care to hear their story first, may you outlive everyone you ever care about.

Author: Theanswerlies

Source: Reddit


  1. First of all, kudos to you for being with your girlfriend in what I know from experience is a painful, heartbreaking and lonely procedure. I realize that protestors have their own opinions about abortion; that’s what free speech is about.

    If you have not gone through the thought process, the agony and fear and the regret stay with you a lifetime. I think many people think that this is a lightly-made decision; an “easy fix for a problem.” I rarely have a day go by without thinking of the baby that wasn’t to be when I was 24.

    The fact that you are making a gesture of kindness and understanding is a blessing and a kindness to those women who have made the decision. No one should be judging another person’s heart–they don’t know how that person feels.

    Thank you for this post.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. As someone who has lead women (and some men) through post-abortion healing groups, I can tell you that breaking down and sobbing after the procedure (and sometimes for a lifetime) happens even when there are no protestors present.

    It’s very disappointing to read that those particular protestors were shaming women that day. Those I know who minister outside abortion clinics do so with gentleness and love. Like you, they offer to listen to the women who arrive looking rattled (because what they are about to do is, by nature, soul rattling) and offer support and alternatives.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Thank you for your incredible words but more importantly for your incredible actions… Sometimes just being there for another human being and listenning to them can help them through difficult times. So thank you, for women everywhere!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. As a Christian, I am told not to judge, so I do not..it’s not my job or my position or my right or my business. But I had an ultrasound 24 years ago (due to complications) at six weeks pregnant..so my understanding of what’s “in there” obviously changed.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I am so incredibly sorry that you and your girlfriend had to experience this. In the city in which in live, they have this program called clinic defense. Volunteers stay outside of the clinic wearing special clothing that identifies them as such and they escort women through the crowd of protestors and provide them as much support as possible until they’re inside. Perhaps you and your girlfriend could look into that program and see if it’s a possibility to have one started in your area. Sending many positive thoughts to both of you!


  6. Reblogged this on 61chrissterry and commented:

    This is an emotive subject and while there is a right to life, there is also a right to have your own opinions and these should be respected by others. No one should be judgemental or cause harassment to others.


  7. Such an important message of understanding and love. We shouldn’t judge one another for our decisions; we should just offer our loving support, just like you guys did. I hope that many readers take example from you and sprinkle the world with similar kind gestures!


  8. If only we could show the same compassion and kindness to our unborn children. I would not shame those going into the clinic. I find that distasteful no matter which side of the isle you sit. That does not keep me from my viewpoint as an adopted human. I hate to think what would have happened if my birth parents had made another choice. Then again, I suppose it wouldn’t matter to anyone else.


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