Scenario:
Little Johnny has perceived his world to be hostile.
He didn’t like sports, but he was forced to do sports. His cousins would come over often and tease him about his math hobby. He tried explaining to his parents that he was being bullied at school because he didn’t relate to the conversations some other boys were having. Kids also teased him about having a crush on girl. He didn’t have a crush. He considered the girl his best friend, but she stopped talking to him after the rumors.
Johnny’s feelings about all these things were not being validated as real. His parents told him to change things about himself and to act “right” so that he wouldn’t be bullied. Johnny felt that he had no safe place and no family or friends that could help him.
Then Johnny sits at the table for a holiday dinner. Many family members sat around.
Aunt B:
Johnny are you gonna eat the turkey this year? Or are you still a vegetarian? (She laughs)
Cousin Jack:
What’s the matter? Don’t want to eat Tom? You better start eating meat if you want to bulk up for sports. Maybe your team will actually win next year. (Pokes Johnny)
Johnny’s Dad:
I tried getting him to eat a hamburger after he helped me with the lawn yesterday. Kid damn near puked.
Johnny’s Mom:
Well he better eat the turkey. I didn’t spend all morning basting this bird so he could sit there ungrateful.
Questions;
- Which one of these people (if any) is Johnny likely to confide in about his problems?
- Do you think any of them present as approachable?
- How important do you think it is to be mindful of compassion and right speech?
- Have you had the problem of finding someone approachable?
Susan created the Humanity Refresh Press Blog which aims to connect community that encourages, pursues personal growth, acknowledges inter-connectedness, and strives toward mindful living through non-harm in word, in thought, and in action.
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This is happening in homes all across our land. Terrible way to treat any one especially children!
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Completely agree. It is so very easy to do violence to another person’s heart, sometimes giving lasting damage to their sense of ‘self’.
With a practice of mindfulness, and the intention towards compassion, we can endeavour to carefully watch our words just as keenly as we watch our actions.
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Words can be worse to the psyche.
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Awesome post!
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Oh you know what sucks about this as there are so many who are subjected to this type of rubbish I would tell Johnny to eat what he likes but that is just me
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Interesting post with beautiful perspective.
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