So we are only into day 3 of ‘back to school’ and I’ve been a ‘shit mum’ repeatedly since Monday.
This weeks epic fuck ups have included:
Leaving 2 coats worth £60.00 on the pavement because I was too busy trying to convince a 2-year-old it’s OK to piss in a bush before we got back in the car. I remembered the next morning on the school run when we were getting bruised from the hail stones and I couldn’t find them.
Had the morning from hell psyching Tallulah up for her swimming lesson at school where she cried (hyperventilating sobs where she nearly hurled into her weetabix) from 7.15am-9.55am that she didn’t want to go only to get to there and be told that her lessons don’t start until May.
I gave Betsy no dinner money then remembered at 2pm when I was gorging on my own lunch at my desk so I had a melt down that she would either starve to death or be bullied for being poor.
Felt extra punctual and got the kids to school nice and early today – to remember on arriving I’d totally forgotten to collect my nephew on the way as promised.
I’ve done my usual – felt guilt, a load of rage and the usual feeling of being a totally shit parent; but then I thought…
A shit parent doesn’t discipline their daughter before school for being an absolute horror then burst into tears in the car the minute you’ve watched her walk through the school gates because you think you were too hard on her – and meanwhile she doesn’t give it a second thought for the rest of the day.
Shit parents don’t stand in the rain in the freezing cold through winter every Sunday morning to watch their son play football then reassure him how amazing he was for the whole journey home despite him throwing a horrific tantrum because he didn’t score enough goals whilst he’s covering your clean car in mud.
A shit parent doesn’t feel like they’re failing because they’ve not read their child’s school book every night of the week or practised their spellings and there’s a chance they could have done better in that test if you had of.
A shit parent doesn’t sit in a meeting with a lump in their throat because they just couldn’t get the time off work to wear a high vis vest and help on the school trip to the zoo.
Shit parents don’t feel shame because their kids have eaten MacDonald’s more than twice in a week because they were just too exhausted to even think of what to cook for tea let alone make it.
All these things that make you feel like you’re being a shit parent actually means you’re an amazing parent – because you’re doubting yourself.
Shit parents don’t doubt themselves.
I’ve decided it’s actually OK whether your babies are full of chicken nugget happy meals or roast dinner and veg. It doesn’t really matter whether they know the difference between ‘their, there & they’re’ when they are only 6 – there’s plenty of time for them to learn.
Remember they needed that telling off before school – they’ll thank you for it later when they have their own house and don’t leave their dirty laundry and dishes lying all over the place….
One day when he grows up to be a father himself coaching his son on a Sunday morning he will remember that it was you who stood on his sideline.
So this afternoon I finished work, I collected my kids – one of them then managed to put their foot through THE LARGEST pot of double cream in the back of the car – I drove straight to have it cleaned – I then had to explain to the guy (who spoke absolutely no English) that I had no money and try to make him understand I’d return after I’d been to the cash point – he looked like he wanted to end his life after looking inside the car and I had my usual lump of ‘I’m about to cry with anger’ in my throat.
Instead of losing my shit which I was on the verge of doing I just thought fuck it – and took my babies to the park then we ate massive Ice creams just before tea.
As I sat there with my double honeycomb sugar waffle beast with a flake I decided….so fucking what that my brand new car is going to smell of sour cream all summer – so what that it’s been another week of kid drama – as long as our babies are fed, clean, loved, happy & not the spawn of Satan most of the time we must be doing something right.
Let’s not be so hard on ourselves
Author Bio:
I am Rachaele Hambleton
I am a part-time working mummy to biological children, step children & apparently everyone else’s children….
I had 5 minutes of fame when my ‘Spotted Torquay’ post ended up going viral.
Follow me on Facebook.
Please Share Using the Social Media Buttons Below.
Parenting is not for the faint hearted😄
LikeLiked by 1 person
word! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
For those without self doubt, no growth is possible. This is a grea reminder.
LikeLiked by 2 people
What a brilliant post and so very true!
Thanks for sharing x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Keep it up girl, you’re doing great.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow. This spoke so much to me and is going to help me change my negative thoughts! Absolutely wonderful! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah… I don’t want kids. Not ever. I’m still waiting for some mum to say they enjoy it and it’s the best point of their lives. No honest mum ever does.
LikeLike
Well, I’m a father, I enjoy it and it IS the highpoint of my life 🙂
Best, Mike.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks Mike, but I believe fathers have it easier. Women go through the biological/physical toll on their bodies, and often struggle with recapturing that old sex appeal. Women are also the ones who are often expected to set career goals aside to care for children. It’s never quite half and half, which often gives men the opportunity to enjoy fatherhood more than women enjoy motherhood. The impact is always greater, more terrible and more lasting on our side..
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was born to an immigrant father and a first-generation mother in 1946. They had no time to run through all the hoops parents are expected to run through today, and it was simply not part of the culture then. I refuse to buy in to today’s standards of parenting, in part because it seems disloyal to my parents, and in part because I came out OK.
LikeLike
Thank you for this, I needed a little reassurance this morning. I laughed out loud at your description of crying as soon as they walk through the school doors because you disciplined. I relate, every single day. I agree, let’s be nicer to ourselves. Have a great day😊
LikeLike
Parenting makes us feel weak and tired, like we’re half crazy, but in actuality we are becoming stronger and can deal and cope with a lot of crazy things. It’s hard, it’s just that some families make it look easy, so we feel worse about our own.
LikeLike
I wouldn’t say shit mum, I would say normal, run of her feet mum
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Kindness Blog.
LikeLike