“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”
Are you your own Best Friend?
by Hardik Nagar
Have you ever asked yourself this?
If you have, do you behave with yourself as a best friend would?
Time to think.
I have worked in a Global Youth organization, Rotaract movement, for almost 4 years now. I have climbed the ladder of the organization from a volunteer to a team leader through to management.
Fortunately, I have had the privilege to deal with many different kinds of people and at a young age, I have had the opportunity to help these people deal with their problems: personal problems, parental problems, relationship problems and depression. Many types of problems.
I have been in depression myself. Major depression. Over so many issues across the years. I remember being in depression for many months straight.
Relating to this, I have found a fixed pattern over the years, in their cases and mine, which is a lack of compassion towards self.
Beating yourself up. Thinking you’re not good enough. Hating oneself. Causing harm to oneself. Thinking you’re not worthy of the good in your life. All the negative traits reside in you: within you. Your life is no good. Why do you live? There is no point. You’ve no love in life. No one cares for you. No-one.
You know what I am talking about. You know it. We have all been there. They might have laughed at you. Might have bullied you. Might have broken your heart. Might have rejected you. Heck, they might have even beaten you up.
But what you do to yourself after that is worse. Much worse.
You think you deserve this?
Your best friend won’t.
She will sit beside you. She will remind you of all the good which is there within you. She will take care of you. She will make sure, you never feel alone. She’ll try to cheer you up. Make you laugh. Make you smile. Make you yourself again.
She’ll possibly do anything to boost that low self-esteem of yours. She’ll remind you of your achievements. She will remind you of all the times, you’ve been a wonderful friend, a wonderful son, a wonderful daughter, a wonderful father, a wonderful mother, a wonderful husband, a wonderful partner and above everything else: a kind and compassionate human being.
Why can’t you do that with yourself?
You know yourself better than any other person. You know the things you’ve been through. You know exactly how much pain you felt and you know you’re an amazing person.
Yes, you know your flaws as well. But doesn’t everyone have them? Does that mean that you will deprive yourself from the love of most important person in your life: you?
Think of all the times you’ve beaten yourself up. Think of all the times you were disappointed by yourself. Think of all the time you’ve passed in deep depression. Think of all the time you deprived yourself of self-compassion.
Was it worth it? Was it worth it, whatever the reason?
More importantly, would your best friend have been as harsh with you?
Please don’t deprive yourself of self-compassion. How will you possibly show compassion and be kind to others, if you can’t be compassionate and kind to yourself?
It is OK to make a mistake. It is OK if your heart gets broken. It is OK if you were rejected. It is OK if your life is messed up as hell. It is OK.
A phase. That’s it. It will pass soon. But be there for yourself. Tell yourself everything will be OK. That everything will be fine and no matter what, you are there for yourself. Be your own best friend. Maybe it sounds stupid to read? But think: what difference would having such an attitude make to your life? A world of difference, perhaps?
Next time, when depression strikes or bad things happen to you, try to treat yourself how your best friend would treat you. With compassion and kindness. With love and care. With empathy.
Not with self-hatred. Not with self-pity.
Be the best, best friend to yourself. Be.
The person you spend the most amount of time with is yourself.
Be kind to that person. Be compassionate towards that person.
Love that person.
If not for me, if not for this blog, if not for this site: for the person reading this.
Trust me, that person deserves this.
That person deserves to be your best friend.
Today’s Guest Blogger is Hardik Nagar of http://thatindianminimalist.wordpress.com/
Hardik Nagar is a novel minimalist from India and has volunteered for a global organization for the past 4 years. He is passionate about Coaching, Public Speaking, Writing and Mentoring and is deeply interested in Minimalism and Simplicity. Hardik explores these ideas through reading books, articles and writing about his interests. Hardik also loves contributing to other people’s lives even in any way he can and seeks to inspire others.
You can contact Hardik and/or ‘follow’ him at https://twitter.com/hardiknaagar